This is a mail from a very young friend of mine
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When people who wallow in gutters scream for help, it doesn't necessarily mean they want to be rescued. Instead in many cases, when someone on firm ground reaches out compassionately but naively, they get dragged into the muck themselves. And what does one do then? You first swim away from the person who dragged you down, since as long as you are next to them, they'll never let you get out. Once you are at a safe distance, you pull yourself out, cleanup, and move forward. The next time someone else reaches out, don't ignore the person; don't lose out on your compassion. Instead look for the signs to determine if the person genuinely wants to be rescued; and if you can't figure it out, err on the side of compassion rather than caution. But make sure that you are smarter this time and have your feet firmly on the ground, so that if you start feeling dragged, you can pull away before it happens. Of course there's a possibility that the person is very strong and you end up getting dragged despite your best efforts. Go through the process again since the person will loosen the grip on you when they find somebody else to drag; and rest assured they'll find another one.
I do not believe or disbelieve in God as of today. But if I was a believer, then I would also like to believe that God took the form of these people so that he could be my teacher. And I bow down and salute them for making me realize that I'm not as intelligent or strong or wise as I think, and pushing me in the direction of being a better human being in all these respects. And I'm grateful to them that most of my hurt has been emotional - not financial, physical, social, or legal. Because, as of today, I feel that only with emotional hurt comes a strong guarantee that it can be overcome.
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This is not from any book - this is a thought which has germinated in my mind as I'm trying my best to forgive some people whom I loved and cared for immensely, and who instead hurt me back because I was capable of giving. Though I'd never claim that this is a completely original idea - I'm very convinced that years of reading, listening, pondering, and conversing have lead to this moment. I'm hoping this will help me overcome my current sense of loss, and the pain from my past which still lingers.